I am in the market for a robot vacuum. I’ve been thinking of getting one for a while and have decided that I’m tired of having to deal with the dustiness of LA and would like the machines to do things for me. So I did what’s become par the course for any purchase of a fancy thing outside my usual interests and turned to the internet.
The New York Times’ Wirecutter had a recommendation, of course, and one that was reasonably priced no less. I also checked Wired’s list of vacuums hoping for some overlap with the Times’ list, but instead found a completely different list of much fancier options. Confounding things further, the Wirecutter pick had oddly low reviews on Amazon, casting a shade of doubt on that vacuum. Digging further, I found websites dedicated to reviewing vacuums or all sorts, with their own metrics and recommendations (and then websites and commenters criticizing those recommendations in turn).
There’s an old xkcd comic about nerds shopping and the rabbit hole research invites. Things have changed a lot in the eighteen years since that comic was published, though. Getting a good deal isn’t just about getting good bang for your buck; shopping means navigating a minefield of drop-shipped garbage and sketchy brands. The vacuum might be cheaper, but how can you be sure that it won’t break down in a month? That brand’s highly regarded, or at least it used to be — has it gotten worse recently as its tried to generate more shareholder value? Finding something cheap is secondary to making sure you’re not about to be ripped off.
Amidst this mire is where sites like Wirecutter come in, offering to help cut through the noise. But then, that’s one opinion and there are so many opinions, so many options so many targets. How can you know you’ve the right recommendation and not some fringe vacuum fan who insists on being a contrarian to popular vacuum opinion? Is there a review site of reviewers? Anyone can peddle their ways online and anybody can develop a following built on purported expertise of reviewing said wares. But with that comes an absolute flood of information and a deep, deep rabbit hole to fall into as you hunt down an appliance.
It’s been over a week since I was ready to shell out for Wirecutter’s recommended robot vacuum before noticing the lackluster Amazon reviews (filtered by verified purchases to try and weed out bots, naturally). I’ve had a tab open from a vacuum reviewer almost as long as I debate whether maybe I should spring for the more expensive but potentially way better option. What began as a fairly straightforward operation (that’s it, I want a robot vacuum) with an easy enough approach (check some of the big review sites, compare) has become a whole Thing (it turns out some people have very strong opinions on robot vacuums). I’m pretty sure none of the options I’ve narrowed it down to are likely to be a scam, but we’ll see if I end up going through with it. Guess there is something worse than two nerds shopping: an internet full of them with their opinions on product minutae.
Essays, Not Rants! 